Will John Kerry please shut the fuck up?

Welcome, kids, to my new blog. Don't forget, the old one was torpedoed by my own stupidity. So it can happen to anyone.

No, we won't be handing out fish carcasses on the daily. First off, we haven't got enough to go around, as the cat keeps eating them. But second, not everyone does something appropriately stupid every single day -- sometimes we have to talk about,y'know, smart stuff.

That said, Today's Red Herring goes to Sen. John Kerry (D-MA-DUH), who's gone on record again begging Major League Baseball to change the outlet for its Extra Innings subscription package. Okay, so the ludicrous spectacle of dragging Mark McGwire and co. in front of Congress worked; you still have to explain to me why the almost most leader of the freeish world has to bother persistently squawking about a small-time cable deal. Those doubting that MLB Advanced Media honcho Bob DuPuy (pronounced Do Pay, ironically) is more powerful than a member of the U.S. Senate, look no further.

As Family Guy son Chris Griffin scrawled on a wall while under the influence of his evil pimple, Doug: That's... enough... John... Mayer!

Or what have you.

Also newsworthy today:

The city of San Francisco continues to entice the 49ers with attractive alternatives to the Santa Clara alternative. (Click the link, and play this little game: find the sentence where John York pretends to care about the inhabitants of Bayview-Hunter's Point!)

Now, while it's true that, organizationally speaking, I wouldn't piss on the 49ers if they were on fire, what a nice little story to keep one of the world's most recognizable sports franchises in place. A little anti-climactic, yes, after the ne'er-was Olympic bid, but hey, no one knew about that at the time, so why lament it now?

Finally, you all are on notice: this blog is work. Work, I say (I'm sitting at work right now!) Therefore, you all must contribute by posting a comment now and then, or I'll shamelessly beg you to do so again. Hey, if it's good enough for Stephen Colbert...

-Zed

QWTOFDY
"There are no stupid questions; only stupid people who ask questions."
-Chris Berman