MLB draft hits the air

...And you know? It's not bad t.v. If you're into that kind of thing, of course. (And yes, you can actually watch live online.)

Peter Gammons, Steve Phillips, and Keith Law are sure a lot better than Mel Kiper, Jr. and whatever unfortunate mook gets to sit next to him.

And did you know? This is actually the first time the draft has been held anywhere. (It has customarily been conducted by conference call.)

As for the Giants pick: well, the draftniks love it -- you've got to like a big-bodied, projectable high school lefty nobody thought would go this high -- and Madison Bumgarner (pictured; surf's up!) is hands down the best name in the draft thus far.

As the first round winds down, the analysts have been extremely complimentary of the Giants three first-round picks. Stay tuned to ESPN2 for more.

Meanwhile: four of the A's starting pitchers are in the top 20 in the American League in ERA.

I'll give you a dollar if you can name them.

-Zed

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"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-Groucho Marx

Don't blame the Messenger

Okay, yes I do have to weigh in on the Giants' recent message, bringing in Randy Messenger, and literally sending Armando Benitez back where he came from.

The G-men were victimized by their own lousy timing -- they pulled Ourmando off the trade table in spring training, when he was pitching well, and GM Brian Sabean either felt he wasn't being offered enough, or changed his mind on the big Dominican. Sabean also wasn't able to hold out until anywhere near the July 31 trade deadline, despite a market desperate for relief pitchers.

The Giants got a bargain: a nobody long-reliever, plus they're paying only $4.7 million of his $5 million salary. Which means, additionally, that if Armando ever does anything good in Florida -- seeing as the Marlins are paying him less than the Major League minimum -- the Giants were screwed there, too.

What's interesting is Sabean's mea no culpa. Apparently, he feels that the fans are now running his office.

Said Sabean:

Right now, as we speak, we're heading closer to last place than first place. I don't know that that was Armando Benitez's fault... We are at a crossroads in my mind, and apparently the fans, the press and some people in the clubhouse felt he needed to go.

And just like President Bush, or your high school gym teacher, the Giants' General Manager is obligated to do whatever you want him to do.

So, since Benitez already has more than enough Fish up on his wall (and now, 24 more in his clubhouse) a large, slappy-sounding Red Herring to Mr. Sabean, who bought high, sold low, and blamed the fans. (What you're watching is a formerly brilliant General Manager, slinking out the door.)

If any of this sounds familiar -- painting themselves into a corner, then getting the worst deal available out of desperation -- just think to yourself, $126 million, backloaded.

You know what? We're still better off.

-Zed

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"A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz."
-Humphrey Bogart

As the checked ball bounces

Nice: FIFA doesn't consult Bolivia, Ecuador, Peru, or Mexico before banning higher-altitude sites for FIFA qualifiers. No word about them banning heat, or cold, or bad refereeing for that matter.

These are sites that have held such matches since time out of mind. On the other hand, their GDP are fractions, respectively, of Germany or South Africa (sites of the last and the next World Cup.)

In Tech, authorities say that their arrest of one man may produce noticibly less Spam in your inbox. Red Herring to one Robert Alan Soloway, since it's too late to get Karl Rove for his direct mail fodder.

Politics, politics, and soccer. Where's an Italian man crying for his mama when you need one?

The thing about Michael Vick and dog fighting is, the NFL recruits brutes, and turns them into animals. Ray Lewis? Pacman Jones? Bill Romanowski?

Bruce Jenkins suggests that these guys play together on the Bad News Bearz. I just hope Papa Sheffield can keep them away from Elijah Dukes.

And Mark Cuban and a Google exec want to challenge the NFL's supremacy? Iiinteresting...

-Zed

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"No thought, no idea, can possibly be conveyed as an idea from one person to another."
-John Dewey

Bush, Miss USA tougher than Armando

George W. Bush talks tough, and sanctions Sudan for Darfur atrocities. It's not like the man thought of it himself, but still -- good to see.

Incidently, an obscure National Security Directive is passed, saying that in case of emergency, Bush becomes "Super-Mega Lord Decider?"

Dictator?

Oh, kay! In other news...

Why go to Stanford (or the Army) when you don't belong to Stanford (or the Army)?

Presumably because it's more expensive than Cal.

More in the South Bay: the 49ers are creeping closer to the $200 million mark -- in how much they're asking from the City of Santa Clara. If I were a Santa Claran, I'd be giddy, too -- but these things rarely work out well for the municipality.

Meanwhile, hard to stay off local baseball. Today's Red Herring goes to Armando Benitez, who at least seems like a decent guy. An overly sensitve guy, to be sure, with a heart of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. (With apologies to Miss USA, who did a great job recovering after literally falling on her ass in the Miss Universe pageant.)

But last night's game typifies it -- up a run, it's Walk-Balk-Bunt-Balk to score the tying run, Home Run to end it.

End it. Please, Brian Sabean -- end it.

-Zed

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“The heart has reasons that reason does not understand.”
-Jacques Benigne Bossuel

Not the happiest baseball stories

Litigious society meets drunk society:

As you may recall from a few weeks back, St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock got drunk after a game and killed himself rear-ending a tow truck after midnight. A tragedy, to be sure, that shook a team already riled from Darryl Kile's sudden passing. And just look at what he did to that lovely car.

Now Hancock's father is suing the restaurant that served his son the drinks. On first blush, I don't have a great deal of sympathy for either side (legally). Most at fault is whomever knew about Hancock in enough time to help, which is why manager Tony LaRussa feels so bad...

Litigious society meets punk society:

As CBS Sportsline's Scott Miller tells us, troubled Tampa Bay rookie Elijah Dukes has found a unique way to stay in the majors: his last two minor league teams refuse to take him back.

Dukes, who allegedly texted his estranged wife, a schoolteacher, this photo (then told her to check her texts) also left her a message saying: Hey, dawg. It's on, dawg. You dead, dawg. I ain't even bullshittin'. Your kids too, dawg... As a matter of fact, I'm coming to your motherfuckin' house.

Of course, Dukes also has eight home runs and the world's most powerful labor union behind him, so he's here until he Maurice Claretts himself out.

When I think of Tampa, I still think of the sad story of Doc Gooden. Why does no one have problems in Saint Pete?

-Zed

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"A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic."
-Joseph Stalin

My blood runs cold: Topps being sold

It seems Topps, the venerable baseball card company, is up for grabs. It's too bad; our memories are being sold, as well (My angel is the centerfold!) I must say, I never did get the etopps concept -- real money paid for imaginary cards you can't turn over or stain with gum. For those wondering: this is what it means to grow up American.


Meanwhile, Upper Deck, in an effort to dominate the trading card market, actually made an unsolicited bid for the company well in excess of Michael Eisner's. Folks my generation still remember Upper Deck as the spiffy new kid on the block, which means -- hang on, I have to go take my Alzheimer's meds.

In politics, a record-setting 4,125th Red Herring to your president (I sure didn't vote for him), George W. Bush. Bush was warned by advisors that, after an Iraq invasion, Al Qaida would use Iraq as a recruiting ground, and Iran would try to leverage the region.

In the face of this evidence, Bush says he still "firmly believes the world is better off without Saddam Hussein in power." Making Bush the only president to live in a vacuum since Hoover.

Get it? Hoover.

-Zed

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“The enemy isn’t conservatism. The enemy isn’t liberalism. The enemy is bullshit."
-Lars-Erik Nelson

Humming at an end?

Hummer Bummer?

The first private citizen to own a Hummer? My Governor and yours, Arnold Schwazenegger. (Dead Red Fish to that man.) And now there's word that someone, perhaps on his way to the dealership right now, will soon be the last.


Yes, you do remember me publishing a piece on this. Now it seems there were finally enough protests about the actual illegality of them on California roads, the immorality of their environmental impact, and-

...What?

Apparently that wasn't it.

Apparently, sales were down.

Oh, well. To borrow the title of the Giants' 1987 team video: Humm Baby, It Was Fun.

Virgin Airs:

It looks like Virgin America is finally American enough for American lobbyists -- I mean, lawmakers.

Will non-American Richard Branson topple another industry?

Meanwhile, here I am, blogging to you (shh!) from the Giants press box. I'm actually watching two of the greatest centerfielders of all time -- Willie Mays and Condoleezza Rice -- chat each other up in owner Peter Magowan's box.

The presscateers all wanted to know whether the a crowd would boo Condi (line of the night: Condi is the woman Bush always hoped Colin Powell would become.) They never got the chance; she stayed safely off the JumboTron and in Willie's lap.

[Editor's note: they did get their chance when she left the game, escorted up Aisle 121 by her Secret Service detail, in the 8th inning -- to beat parking, presumably. The lefties did not disappoint, booing her roundly.]

Politics make strange bedfellows.

-Zed

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"I loved the game. I loved the competition. But I never had any fun."
-Carl Yastrzemski

MLB Network is born

This is big. Sen. Kerry: rescue us!







From Eric Fisher, who tracks such things for the Sports Business Journal:

MLB owners today approved the league's contracts with DirecTV and 35 other MSOs for the distribution of the Extra Innings out-of-market package and launch of the MLB Network. The channel, now carrying that name, has a planned start of January 1, 2009, with early plans to carry 26 live, non-exclusive MLB games on Saturday nights.

The network, jump-started by this year's often fractious negotiations with cable’s InDemand consortium and others, will launch in at least 46.9 million homes. That would make it by far the most successful channel start in cable TV history, surpassing MSNBC, which launched in '96 in 28 million homes.

...The channel is two-thirds owned by MLB, with 16.67% of the equity held by DirecTV and the remaining amount split proportionally between InDemand partners Comcast, Time Warner and Cox.

(Incidently, MLB just approved the sale of the Atlanta Braves to Liberty Media, who's all over DirecTV and pretty much everything else.


The NFL network has already had its ups and downs. MLB has done an awful lot of dealing on these topics in recent months; it will be interesting to see how this compares.

Time will tell.

-Zed

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"Television: A medium; so called because it is neither rare nor well done."
-Ernie Kovacs

This is my post - so nu?

A couple simple links today from your humble blogger!

* No, David Eckstein is not Jewish. But if you listened to the Adam Sandler song, you'll know: Rod Carew is (he converted). Okay, so maybe Carew isn't.
http://jewishmajorleaguers.org/

The good news is, Carew can rest easy knowing Danny Glover will do a great job playing him in the biopic -->

* Google vs. Viacom: from the top turnbuckle, and you, the consumer, asked for it.

* Social Media Club meets tonight in San Francisco -- but is the (corporate) Townsend Street location a little suspect?

* I have to shout out baseball blogger Maury Brown by name -- follow the links for some cool "every stadium now being built" stuff -- including this billion-dollar Jerry Jones propoganda piece...


Red Herring on principle to Jones, the most self-important man this side of Curt Schilling.

* Surprised you have back problems so young? Don't be...

* Speaking of which, Grannies who are Gamers? Why not? My Granny's already a balla'!

* And, just for the heck of it: Tofutti Cuties! You had no idea that nasty-ass bean curd could be so good. Seriously, a head-scratchingly good snack any time!

And, you know; you could stand to lose a few.

-Zed

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“A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.”
-Elbert Hubbard

Fewer bats, but they've got some balls

Don't Take My Bat, Mister, Please!

One example of how baseball mirrors politics: the lobbyists from Easton, Rawlings, and other "ping"-inducing batmakers have gathered a formidable group of coaches and players to decry a New York City ban on metal bats.

The campaign -- shamelessly called "Don't Take My Bat Away" -- rankles purists and safety gurus by claiming there's absolutely no concrete reason to switch to wood. A supervisorial veto says otherwise... for now.

So which one am I?

With Barry Bonds within ten homers of Aaron's cherished record, the rhetoric is finally heating up. Says Curt Schilling, the world's foremost expert on everything: "There's good people and bad people."

After which he tucked in reporters with a "Nighty-night," and explained reasonably that their mommy still loved them very much and all the yelling was "just something grown-ups do"...

MLB to broadcast draft.

I grant you, this news is treated with the footnote status it deserves. Drafted players, with a few exceptions, are in no danger of seeing top-level exposure for two or three years; understandably, only the earliest part of the draft will be aired. Still, if you're the MLB and envy the NFL, you have to be happy with the news.

Commentary:

We've wondered this for years, but how is it that ESPN's Rob Neyer still has a job? Red Herring to the big, tough industry leaders who cower in the presence of a nerdy-enough stathead. Today's headline from Rob -- seriously: Adding Clemens Should Help Yanks.

And, in breaking local news: hot weather is hot.

Coming soon, by request, from a fat guy on a bike: alternatives to alternative fuels.

-Zed

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"My guiding principle is this: Guilt is never to be doubted."
-Franz Kafka

Clemens, other dinos unearthed

MLS Earthquakes to partner with Niners? Stay tuned...

82-foot dinosauruses...

Clemens can be bought (for $28 mil, you could too)...

In local news, part of the downed freeway connector reopened today, roughly nine years faster than it did after the '89 Quake...

The Giants' Tim Lincecum was a college star a year ago; yesterday he struck out the side in his first major league inning. Of course, he was already down 2-0...

And that's a rap. Stay tuned for the 94-foot dinos tomorrow!

-Zed

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"Leadership involves finding a parade and getting in front of it."
-John Naisbitt

You can't argue with results!

In Your Sleep:

I'm actually really sleepy. So just trust me that this article on sleep is really interesting: [click.]

In Sports:

After a slew of injuries, the A's have become so short on outfielders, they actually traded "future considerations" for one last week -- Chris Denorfia -- who'd just had elbow ligament replacement surgery and is out for the season.

For more "future considerations" -- you can tell these are primo players, right? -- they picked up Ryan Langerhans from the Atlanta Braves on Monday.

Langerhans will, without question, go down as the worst player in A's history.

See, he joined the team in Boston and played Tuesday; he was hitless in four at-bats, including two strikeouts, and dropped a ball for an error in centerfield. After which he was traded away for another outfielder, Chris Snelling of the Nationals, the next day.

Snelling could actually develop into a player; he's a nothing-but-mash guy in the minors who's had a long series of serious leg injuries. Other than that, he could pay off -- but if he's a little jetlagged on arrival, he may not last long enough for us to find out.

Let's just be thankful they're not short on left-handed pitchers.

-Zed

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"Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?"
-Robert Browning

Yanks, Apple founder

It seems Apple, who normally gets practically a free pass on security, is having major issues with QuickTime, its media player. It's bad enough that experts are worried that experts could use the company's recent fix of a gaping QuickTime-Javascript error to reverse engineer hacks, putting millions of iPod users at risk.

The U.S.-CERT gave the vulnerability a 10 out of 10 points in its risk-rating scale. That's before the fix/hack issue.

In Sports, Red Herring to a twenty-year-old hamstring. The 'string belongs to uber-prospect Phillip Hughes, who defied recent Yankee tradition by holding the Rangers scoreless and even hitless into the seventh inning, before succumbing to another recent Yankee trend, and leaving with the injury.

Yanks GM Brian Cashman: "We seem to be getting hit every day." Hughes could be out a month or more. This is part of why there was internal pressure not to summon the talented Hughes in the first place.

Meanwhile, improbable opening day starter Carl Pavano, languishing on the DL, continues to have credibility problems.

Chien-Meng Wang is the best thing they have going, not only from a baseball standpoint, but for international public relations. MLB continues to develop its Taiwanese interests, including a new website that doubles as a dry run for China. Stay tuned on this one; using Taiwan's western-friendlier enterprise to sidle up to the Chinese economy looks like a major strategy.

As for China itself: everyone's chasing the NBA on this one.

-Zed

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"My dear boy, if God had intended for us to walk, he wouldn't have invented roller skates."
-Willy Wonka

Political football on steroids

As columnists go, you gotta love SF Chron writer Gwen Knapp. This gem from her today, on the budding Mets' clubhouse steroid brouhaha -- which, by the way, could very well be the biggest thing since the original BALCO raid:

The Attorney General supports torturing people who have never been convicted of a crime, so why does the Justice Department balk at embarrassing an elite athlete? This isn't reasonable discretion. It's jock-sniffing. It calls to mind all the times that an athlete has been let off for a crime and then signed autographs for the judge and jury.

Excellent context. It reminds us that the Bud Seligs of the worlds... and the George Mitchells (former Senate Majority Leader now in charge of ferreting out alleged Bad Guys)... and the Federal Prosecutors are different animals, with very different motives and constituencies.

So when you ask, "Will they get Bonds," or, "Will they get anyone else" -- (and, hopefully, "Is anyone asking that last question?") -- remember that much of it depends on your definition of 'they.'

-Zed

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"It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is."
-Bill Clinton

Yeah, they won't play in the rain

But this is one of those wire stories that demonstrates why baseball is played differently from other sports. Red Herring to those who refuse to understand.

And then there are those occassional reminders that baseball appears slow... and then turns suddenly violent.

Had a late-night conversation on this last night. But just imagine: this is 162 games in a single summer. Imagine the shortstop being taken out on double plays, the catcher taking foul balls off the same thumb every night for seven months.

Quitcher whinin', football. At least our players do their own thinking.

-Zed

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"The best way to describe it is that I was throwing like a carousel when I should throw like a ferris wheel."
-Jonathan Papelbon, on changing his pitching motion in 2007 to protect his shoulder

Baseball notes, world(ly) observations

First, notes from the world of baseball:

* A definite Red Herring to A's fans today. Given their choice of which highlights to watch on DiamondVision, A's fans applauded (least) for the Cardinals against the Pirates, (more) for the Astros against the Cubs -- which was not played, due to snow -- and (quite loudly) for ice fishing.


Ice fishing highlights? And yes, they then heartily cheered the highlight.

* Last night's Giants game: You heard it here first: if Adrian Gonzalez hits 32-35+ home runs this year, he could be a Hall of Famer. Armando Benitez: automatic.

* Both the Dodgers and the Giants are having major parking issues. A's attendees can't get consistent internet, even in the press box. Is this California? Or what? No wonder we can't touch the NFL.

The Giants story is an interesting one. Word is, the Port Authority wanted to bump the rates for the rights to some of their lots -- and the Giants turned them down. The Giants, then, start 2007 with about half the already meager total of parking spots they've had 'til now. Then the Giants chose to keep this development so quiet, I can't even confirm that it happened (which is why my link up there sucks; notice they "forgot" to update the figures.)

Keep an eye on this. I wasn't there, but the story I heard was, a lot of very unhappy Giants fans. If it's true -- and I can't say that it is -- it could serve as an exemplary story of an organization that's slowly eating itself from within.

In other sports news, charges are dropped against the remaining Duke lacrosse players. Rape is so tough to prove. Did they ever have a case?

And, in politics, I heard Rush Limbaugh railing against Nancy Pelosi today. (Did you know? Limbaugh and Braves General Manager John Schuerholz are good friends, dating from when both worked in the Kansas City Royals front office.) Anyway, Rush played Pelosi's audio byte, and while his point is actually well-taken (how can she claim to be relaying the "President's message," as Lantos and others assert a new Democrat foreign policy alternative?) Pelosi has at least assimilated some badly-needed advice from political linguists. Pelosi said "unified," "united," and, importantly for the donkeys, "consistent." The other words she said, surrounding those, don't much matter.

-Zed

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"You get whatever accomplishment you are willing to declare."
-Mal Pancoast

John Kerry can relax

Trivia Time:

[Q:] Who is the only player in baseball allowed to wear his particular uniform number?

Answer below.

Now, to Senator Kerry, currently leading the league in Red Herrings.

Because baseball has reversed its position, and thrown its Extra Innings super-package back on basic cable, as Kerry wanted, in a deal starting in 2009. From the ESPN story, which explains it better than I can:

Baseball announced an exclusive $700 million, seven-year agreement with DirecTV on March 8, but during a hearing last week in Washington, Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., pressed baseball to resume talks with iN Demand, which is owned by affiliates of Time Warner, Comcast and Cox.

If that only half clears it up for you, the Sports Business Juornal has some additional facts worth noting:

...Cable will wind up with an equity stake in the channel. The stake will be 16%, which will be equal to DirecTV. Originally, DirecTV agreed to take 20% of the channel, and it had to approve this deal. The deal means that at launch, the channel will have nearly 40 million homes, making it one of the most successful channel launches ever.

Whether any of this relates to Turner merging with Time-Warner, and AOL, and giving up the Braves, who are now being sold to Liberty Media, who owns large chunks of DirecTV... aw, who can tell? Let's just go with Kerry and say it's better that you can watch it on basic cable (although I'll now have to drop my DirecTV two years from now.)

Trivia Time:

[A:] Mariano Rivera (#42). Rivera is the only player still allowed to wear 42 regularly, under the grandfather clause of a rule instituted ten years ago, when Major League Baseball retired the number league-wide to honor Jackie Robinson.

-Zed

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"When one realizes that his life is worthless he either commits suicide or travels."
-Edward Dahlberg

$elig rakes in the buck$

Incidently, put a figure in your head, before you click to find out how much baseball Comissioner Bud Selig made in the last year available, 2005.

-Zed

Ten Opening Day observations

But first, around-the-horn musings for those of you who think "fantasy baseball" probably involves smooth jazz and a lot of jock straps.

1) Al Gore held the previous record (by a smidge) for most campaign money raised in the first quarter? Imagine if he had used Bill Clinton.

2) The latest from Google: they're not satisfied with just the internet. How about television.

3) OK, so this one is kinda baseball. But will John Kerry please shut the fuck up? (On a personal note, if you Google john+kerry+fuck+herring, My post is not even in the top ten. Either you're not doing your job by clicking me often enough... or our nation has a really wacky sense of humor. Or, you know: fish porn.)

And here's what we saw on Opening Day.

1) Everyone has hope today. The Royals beat the Red Sox.

2) The Invisible Yankee, Carl Pavano, was throwing some real good stuff.

3) The actual Giants haven't even played yet, but Joe Nathan and Salomon Torres both got saves.

4) Florida basketball goes back-to-back, in a smackdown match against Major League Baseball (not to mention Greg Oden's Buckeyes.) All I can think is, who the hell is Chad Paronto?

5) Trot Nixon batted second for the Indians, who plated 12. Trot's proper name: Christopher Trotman Nixon. (1-a: Travis Hafner hit an infield single??) Watch out for those Clevelands. ESPN's Jayson Stark says last year's dismal results were impossibly flukish.

6) I have homework I should be doing.

7) A lot of basestealing today. Guys who won't be running later. Spring is a time of rebirth! (For the Yankees: Damon, who left with both legs cramping, Abreu, and A-Rod? It seems difficult. What a long season.)

8) George Clooney does an awful lot of commercial voiceover work. Come out from behind that post, George. You're not fooling anyone.

9) Impossibly good news for my team, the Ham Fighters: Phil Rogers picks Bill Hall for NL MVP.


10) John Kruk is a living angel. You want to kiss the man. (Notice how his tie matches the bus.)

Okay, enjoy it, kids. Just 161 more of these babies to go.

Oh, and just because the internet can seem mighty amusing when you're procrastinating:

fish porn
fish porn
fish porn.

-Zed

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"I'm convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile."
-Tom Clark

Three U's Fewer

Today's Herring is an easy one. At least, we know in whose general direction to hurl it in: Venezuela's.

Now, whether we're trying to hit corrupt government officials, or the disgraced Ugueth Urbina, is unclear. But one of them has behaved very badly.

Urbina (known as the only pitcher in Major League history with the initials U.U.U., not to mention the closer for the 2003 World Champion Florida Marlins, and a strong money pitcher generally) has been sentenced to 14 years in a Venezuelan prison for an incident at his ranch involving machetes, gasoline, and some deeply conflicting versions of events.

It's the feiry celebrity who had his minions butcher a handfull of strangers -- or, it's the corrupt South-of-the-border system that would end a man's career (and subject him to who-knows-what horrible conditions in that cell) in the desperate hope to squeeze every ounce of blood from the stone, bribe-arily speaking.

One suspects the system, the same one that allowed a pack of bandits to kidnap Urbina's mother just two springs ago and hold her for an eight-figure ransom. But events are fuzzy, and this one just doesn't have enough information for the Gringos to suss out. (Put it this way; Urbina's constant free-agent bouncing around -- and lack of affiliation with a deep-pocketed Major League franchise -- could conceivably cost him his life.)

The one thing we know is we can't blink our eyes and forget this one happened.

Oh wait.

Yes, we can.

-Zed

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"I've noticed those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts."
-Bethania McKenstry