Pacman and babies

Pacman Benched

Much is being made about the NFL's new enforcement and suspension policy, in the wake of Adam "Pacman" Jones' season-long suspension from the Titans for one of the world's more immature acts oevr NBA All Star weekend in Vegas. Gwen Knapp, a source of good social insight, for a sports writer, weighs in.

As Knapp writes, you can take this as a move made either from strength or weakness by new NFL sheriff Roger Goodell. Pacman is simply underbred and overattended, hardly a first for a guy of his means, lifestyle, age, and background. So I'm intentionally crawling out on a limb, and giving the Red Herring here to black people.

It doesn't alight silky-smooth on the ear, does it. But there's a case. The best way to take the heat off me here would be to watch some Dave Chapelle. It's hard to say it better than he does. Plus he actually is black, so, you know.

Nestle Buys Gerber

...for five billions of dollars. For some chewed-up ex-tuna. Mmm.

My favorite Gerber story ("I got a million of 'em!") has to do with China.
See, there are so many people speaking different dialects in China, it's common practice to simply put a picture of the product on the packaging.

Imagine, then, the hubbub when those cute little Gerber bottles first hit shelves in the People's Republic.
Say it all together, now:

"Soylent Green is people! IT'S PEOPLLLLE!"

-Zed

QWTOFDY
"I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different."
-Kurt Vonnegut