Ten Opening Day observations

But first, around-the-horn musings for those of you who think "fantasy baseball" probably involves smooth jazz and a lot of jock straps.

1) Al Gore held the previous record (by a smidge) for most campaign money raised in the first quarter? Imagine if he had used Bill Clinton.

2) The latest from Google: they're not satisfied with just the internet. How about television.

3) OK, so this one is kinda baseball. But will John Kerry please shut the fuck up? (On a personal note, if you Google john+kerry+fuck+herring, My post is not even in the top ten. Either you're not doing your job by clicking me often enough... or our nation has a really wacky sense of humor. Or, you know: fish porn.)

And here's what we saw on Opening Day.

1) Everyone has hope today. The Royals beat the Red Sox.

2) The Invisible Yankee, Carl Pavano, was throwing some real good stuff.

3) The actual Giants haven't even played yet, but Joe Nathan and Salomon Torres both got saves.

4) Florida basketball goes back-to-back, in a smackdown match against Major League Baseball (not to mention Greg Oden's Buckeyes.) All I can think is, who the hell is Chad Paronto?

5) Trot Nixon batted second for the Indians, who plated 12. Trot's proper name: Christopher Trotman Nixon. (1-a: Travis Hafner hit an infield single??) Watch out for those Clevelands. ESPN's Jayson Stark says last year's dismal results were impossibly flukish.

6) I have homework I should be doing.

7) A lot of basestealing today. Guys who won't be running later. Spring is a time of rebirth! (For the Yankees: Damon, who left with both legs cramping, Abreu, and A-Rod? It seems difficult. What a long season.)

8) George Clooney does an awful lot of commercial voiceover work. Come out from behind that post, George. You're not fooling anyone.

9) Impossibly good news for my team, the Ham Fighters: Phil Rogers picks Bill Hall for NL MVP.


10) John Kruk is a living angel. You want to kiss the man. (Notice how his tie matches the bus.)

Okay, enjoy it, kids. Just 161 more of these babies to go.

Oh, and just because the internet can seem mighty amusing when you're procrastinating:

fish porn
fish porn
fish porn.

-Zed

QWTOFDY
"I'm convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile."
-Tom Clark