The day's look at sports

In the NFL, the 49ers' Mike Nolan continues to lobby Reebok for the "right" to wear a suit on the sidelines, like his dad, former Niners head coach Dick Nolan.

The younger Nolan, by the way, is probably more popular around here than un-defeatable Mayor Gavin Newsom. The 49ers, on the other hand, continue to be an organization of jokers off the field. A colleague in the business recently told me her struggles to get important phone calls returned are par for the course.

In the NBA, much is being made of Lebron James' dunk over Tim Duncan. But Warriors fans know, it doesn't even compare to Baron Davis' de-pantsing of Andrei Kirilenko earlier in the playoffs. Hell, Duncan didn't even jump. Red Herring today to those media boofs -- represented today, because he's a good sport, by Charles Barkley.

(I'm obliged to say that Barkley, though a knee-jerk loudmouth, is not exactly a hardened criminal like some athletes you may hear about.)

Okay, take care of those tootsies.

-Zed

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"The NFL, like life, is full of idiots."
-Randy Cross

As the checked ball bounces

Nice: FIFA doesn't consult Bolivia, Ecuador, Peru, or Mexico before banning higher-altitude sites for FIFA qualifiers. No word about them banning heat, or cold, or bad refereeing for that matter.

These are sites that have held such matches since time out of mind. On the other hand, their GDP are fractions, respectively, of Germany or South Africa (sites of the last and the next World Cup.)

In Tech, authorities say that their arrest of one man may produce noticibly less Spam in your inbox. Red Herring to one Robert Alan Soloway, since it's too late to get Karl Rove for his direct mail fodder.

Politics, politics, and soccer. Where's an Italian man crying for his mama when you need one?

The thing about Michael Vick and dog fighting is, the NFL recruits brutes, and turns them into animals. Ray Lewis? Pacman Jones? Bill Romanowski?

Bruce Jenkins suggests that these guys play together on the Bad News Bearz. I just hope Papa Sheffield can keep them away from Elijah Dukes.

And Mark Cuban and a Google exec want to challenge the NFL's supremacy? Iiinteresting...

-Zed

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"No thought, no idea, can possibly be conveyed as an idea from one person to another."
-John Dewey

MLB Network is born

This is big. Sen. Kerry: rescue us!







From Eric Fisher, who tracks such things for the Sports Business Journal:

MLB owners today approved the league's contracts with DirecTV and 35 other MSOs for the distribution of the Extra Innings out-of-market package and launch of the MLB Network. The channel, now carrying that name, has a planned start of January 1, 2009, with early plans to carry 26 live, non-exclusive MLB games on Saturday nights.

The network, jump-started by this year's often fractious negotiations with cable’s InDemand consortium and others, will launch in at least 46.9 million homes. That would make it by far the most successful channel start in cable TV history, surpassing MSNBC, which launched in '96 in 28 million homes.

...The channel is two-thirds owned by MLB, with 16.67% of the equity held by DirecTV and the remaining amount split proportionally between InDemand partners Comcast, Time Warner and Cox.

(Incidently, MLB just approved the sale of the Atlanta Braves to Liberty Media, who's all over DirecTV and pretty much everything else.


The NFL network has already had its ups and downs. MLB has done an awful lot of dealing on these topics in recent months; it will be interesting to see how this compares.

Time will tell.

-Zed

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"Television: A medium; so called because it is neither rare nor well done."
-Ernie Kovacs

This is my post - so nu?

A couple simple links today from your humble blogger!

* No, David Eckstein is not Jewish. But if you listened to the Adam Sandler song, you'll know: Rod Carew is (he converted). Okay, so maybe Carew isn't.
http://jewishmajorleaguers.org/

The good news is, Carew can rest easy knowing Danny Glover will do a great job playing him in the biopic -->

* Google vs. Viacom: from the top turnbuckle, and you, the consumer, asked for it.

* Social Media Club meets tonight in San Francisco -- but is the (corporate) Townsend Street location a little suspect?

* I have to shout out baseball blogger Maury Brown by name -- follow the links for some cool "every stadium now being built" stuff -- including this billion-dollar Jerry Jones propoganda piece...


Red Herring on principle to Jones, the most self-important man this side of Curt Schilling.

* Surprised you have back problems so young? Don't be...

* Speaking of which, Grannies who are Gamers? Why not? My Granny's already a balla'!

* And, just for the heck of it: Tofutti Cuties! You had no idea that nasty-ass bean curd could be so good. Seriously, a head-scratchingly good snack any time!

And, you know; you could stand to lose a few.

-Zed

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“A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.”
-Elbert Hubbard

Skateboard Holmes! says it all

NBA:
Headline today: Kansas' Rush meets with Self. I guess he's preparing for the "refer to yourself in the third person" press conference.

Meanwhile, the Warriors find their own unique way of announcing they've given up on a game. How will they fare with their nose finally bloodied? I don't know, but I'll be sitting down front tomorrow night...

NFL:
Ever been thoroughly ashamed of a QB who runs a 4.4 40? Check out this ESPN story, in which you'll find this gem:

"The Humane Society of the United States has heard troubling reports for some time that Michael Vick has been involved in organized dog fighting, and we fear that this investigation may validate that very disturbing allegation."

No, Michael does not get a Red Herring. We're saving them all for the poor damn dogs.

Also: How does the NFL Draft get such insane coverage? Do you know it's April? Do you know what the show is? And yet, once again, you're perversely intrigued by Kansas City's fourth round options...

Finally, in local, a friend emails to complain about the writer of this rather bizarre piece, an ad hoc obit on a fellow by the handle of Skateboard Holmes.

Don't be offended, B-Money. Yes, it's an article on a fatality written in a disturbingly offhand way.

Little ol' Nevius left the sports section years ago, to be a Local Interest columnist several adorable years behind the story. He's harmless.

We should all -- even Skateboard -- be so blessed.

-Zed

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"In heaven all the interesting people are missing."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Tillman truth seeping out

Jesus. Red Fish all over the page today.

Today we revisit the Pat Tillman story, in which an NFL star and Army hero turns into a symbol for all that is wrong about politics and war.

Apparently as soon as Tillman was shot and killed by friendly fire, the Army calmly created a quarantine-style blackout around the entire Afghani base, designed to severely restrict the flow of information.

I blogged on this a few weeks ago, and will revisit it as the story develops. This is one of those things that don't take a lot of editorializing by me; if you can't figure out the significance... well, what do they say? If you don't know who the sucker is at the table, maybe it's you.

Meanwhile, it is now legal in Texas to shoot and kill someone, say, attempting to break into your car. (Thanks to the indomitable Mark Morford for that one.)

And in other news, for those of you who'd prefer to hear a Japanese man say "the fire would have been right under your buttocks," check out this bidet recall story.

Nice click there. Don't work too hard.

-Zed

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"Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off."
-Bill Veeck

Pacman and babies

Pacman Benched

Much is being made about the NFL's new enforcement and suspension policy, in the wake of Adam "Pacman" Jones' season-long suspension from the Titans for one of the world's more immature acts oevr NBA All Star weekend in Vegas. Gwen Knapp, a source of good social insight, for a sports writer, weighs in.

As Knapp writes, you can take this as a move made either from strength or weakness by new NFL sheriff Roger Goodell. Pacman is simply underbred and overattended, hardly a first for a guy of his means, lifestyle, age, and background. So I'm intentionally crawling out on a limb, and giving the Red Herring here to black people.

It doesn't alight silky-smooth on the ear, does it. But there's a case. The best way to take the heat off me here would be to watch some Dave Chapelle. It's hard to say it better than he does. Plus he actually is black, so, you know.

Nestle Buys Gerber

...for five billions of dollars. For some chewed-up ex-tuna. Mmm.

My favorite Gerber story ("I got a million of 'em!") has to do with China.
See, there are so many people speaking different dialects in China, it's common practice to simply put a picture of the product on the packaging.

Imagine, then, the hubbub when those cute little Gerber bottles first hit shelves in the People's Republic.
Say it all together, now:

"Soylent Green is people! IT'S PEOPLLLLE!"

-Zed

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"I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different."
-Kurt Vonnegut